How to be a Brit

Socialization, part 1

My husband is not perfect, but he is perfect for me, yet I must confess that in specific circumstances he exasperates me and when this happens my usual reaction is to say “stop being so English!” Imagine the nonsense, it is as if he would ask me to be less Mexican, but let me explain:

How to be a Brit

English people enjoy confrontation as much as they hate hemorrhoids. Just thinking about engaging in a conversation with someone to clarify something makes them really uncomfortable, that’s why their life and behavior revolve around how to avoid confronting others. Continuing with the case of my adorable English husband, this is a classic conversation that would drive me nuts:

Husband: I’m fed up, the builder said he was going to send someone this week but I have not heard from him.
Me: Call him
Husband: Maybe he sent me an email … (check his emails) No, nothing.
Me: Call him.
Husband: Well, he said not later than Thursday and it’s only Wednesday
Me: Send him an email.
Husband: If he does not confirm tomorrow, I’ll call him.
Me: Do you want me to call?
Husband: No, it’s not that, I can call … Oh, I know, I can call with the excuse that they left a hammer last time.
Me already exasperated: Stop being so English !!!

How to be a Brit

I don’t know if it’s me, but understanding the phlegmatic English people has taken a lot of work, so if you are thinking of coming to study in the UK or if you come to visit and do not want to be taken for a tourist, I bring you this basic survival guide.
Let’s begin with the basics, the language. No matter how well you speak English, get used to the idea that you will always hear words you have never heard before and grammatical constructions that will leave you questioning all those years of studying the language of Shakespeare. Every time I was in a situation like this I asked the husband the reason of that pronunciation / word / phrase and his answer was basically to shrug and say “I don’t know, probably just to confuse foreigners.” Now I‘ve stopped asking or worrying; instead, I have managed to perfect the use of the two best words in this language: “Lovely” and “sorry“. These are the words that will help you to succeed in any conversation with a Brit’:

How to be a Brit

LOVELY. It’s a nice day? You say “Lovely day, isn’t it?” Someone gives you your coffee? “Lovely, thanks”, The Postman hands you your mail: “Lovely! Have a nice day “and so on, for any possible situation there is a” lovely ” that you can apply shamelessly. The more “lovely’s” you say, the better you will fit in with the British.

SORRY. I realized our son was a true Brit when someone on the train stepped on his foot and he said “Sorry!!”. That’s right, apologizing for absolutely everything is another basic rule: Did your dog bark at another dog? With a face of please forgive me for not taking this damn thing to dog obedience classes you will say “sorry”; If you didn’t get your booking information? Obviously, first you will have to make up some excuse to blame yourself, then ask for the information and then you end up with a “sorry to bother you”; Someone steps on you, they hit you, they give you the wrong amount of money back: “sorry” is the word to use.

Once you have practiced “lovely” and “sorry” you will be ready for the next step, which is to establish completely irrelevant casual conversations, which I will discuss in the continuation of this article.

Continue Reading  Ligia Wright